World Cup Wrap Up - June 30

France 2 - 0 Nigeria

The day started with a much more even game than many anticipated, with Nigeria creating a lot of chances and even scoring a goal which was ruled as offsides by the slightest of margins. Just a little bit later Pogba put his name into the pot for "Sexiest volley of the tournament" but Nigerian goalie Enyeama pulled out a ridiculous reaction save.

France showed off their sexy buildup play later in the game, with Griezmann putting Benzema through on goal with a perfectly weighted through ball. Would have been a beautiful goal, a real shame Benzema suddenly forgot how to play soccer once he was 1 v 1 with the goalie and decided to hit the ball with his fucking purse.

Cabaye heard people talking about Pogba's volley and decided to show what his big swinging dick could do with an absolute BOMB off the cross bar.

The Nigerian coach was confused and looking for answers. Unfortunately, all he could conjure was some debatably gay/hungry sign language.

France scored two late goals and ran out 2-0 winners, meaning a meeting in the next round between the winner of...

Germany 2 - 1 Algeria (AET)

The second game of the day was predicted by some to be a blowout for Germany, but Algeria had been playing well the past three games and deserved to take the game to overtime at least. Neuer had a minor fuck-up early in the second half, which he quickly made up for with a line-drive 70 yard punt on dime to put Schürrle through on goal.

The Algerian goalie was pretty impressed.

The game ended up going to overtime where a Germany, who had been dominating the game for the best part of the second half, went up 1-0 within the first minute. Algeria looked exhausted, and Özil doubled the lead to seal it for the Germans.

The Algerians got a consolation in the dying minutes, which gave Neuer the opportunity to show everybody how big of a dick he is to Algerians.

This result sets up a quarterfinal matchup between France and Germany, neither of whom have particularly impressed in the last two games, but will be eager to regain their early-tournament form. If history is any indicator Germany will emasculate France for the majority of the game before the US swoops in and has to save their French asses.