Argentina 0 (4) - 0 (2) Netherlands
One more (real) game before the final. Zero chance we would get another 8 goal game, right? Well, considering the two teams had scored a combined 4 goals in 4 knockout games, it never looked likely. Onto the highlights...
Mascherano got knocked the fuck out while going up for a header and stumbled to the floor before any of the Dutch players could complete the fatality. It's a good thing concussions don't exist outside of the United States, or else playing a further 90 minutes after this occurred could have potentially been dangerous.
Chances were few and far between throughout the 90 minutes, but Robben had a golden chance to put the Oranje ahead in second half stoppage time. Apparently Masche's head trauma had given him super powers instead of rendering him unconscious, as the stubby argentine somehow managed to make up ground on the diving cunt and, with a little help from a poor touch by Robben, put in a ridiculous game saving tackle.
The game always looked like it would go to penalties, but the Dutch looked lost without penalty specialist and apparently no-so-mediocre goalie Tim Krul. Having run out of substitutions, Dutch coach Van Gaal wasn't able to sub him in as he had done in the Costa Rica game. Instead, the star performer turned out to be Argentine keeper Romero, who, despite having played about 15 minutes of competitive soccer this entire past season, pulled out an absurd save to deny Sneijder's penalty after already stopping Vlaar's opener.
After seeing Krul's heroics from the game before, Cillessen decided to give the opponents a chance for once and not come close to stopping any of the Argentine penalties. After letting Aguero's shot slip under his outstretched hand, Cillessen decided to go with the patented "I'll guess the right way and get basically my whole fucking body behind the shot, but still let it go in" technique to hand Argentina the victory.
Argentina rejoiced, Sabella made sure his flow was pristine, and the Albiceleste advanced to the World Cup finals.
And there you have it: Argentina v. Germany for the final. No idea what to expect from this game, considering Germany have a reputation of choking when it counts and Argentina have failed to play one great game at the World Cup yet. Keep an eye out for the third place game on Saturday, where Brazil will be lucky to field a full strength team considering the balls it's gonna take to step back out on the field after conceding 7 goals three days before. Only two games to go, fucking cherish it.
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