World Cup Wrap Up - July 5

Argentina 1 - 0 Belgium

Argentina vs Belgium! The classic international powerhouse versus the only World Cup team to ever be a dark horse, tournament favorite, underrated, and overrated simultaneously and all at the same tournament. Higuain finally decided to show up to a game this World Cup, responding first to an errant deflection and volleying it passed Courtois.

Sabella was so on edge the entire game that he decided to work in a quick power nap, which almost had disastrous consequences. It turned out to be a savvy, veteran play however as he was sharp as a tack for the rest of the game.

Higuain's goal ended up being the difference as Argentina ran out 1-0 winners, but lost Di Maria in the process, meaning Messi will have to go from doing 98% of the work to 99%. No biggie as long as keeps pulling 60 yard through balls out of his ass.

Netherlands 0 (4) - 0 (3) Costa Rica

Costa Rica got things started on the right foot as one of their mascots was winking at the camera during their national anthem, wetting middle school panties across the globe. Stud alert: threat level midnight.

Your weekly reminder that Keylor Navas is an insanely talented goalkeeper and that Robin van Persie is still the shittiest World Class player at the World Cup.

Aaaaaand just one more highlight of Keylor Navas just in case you still weren't convinced this guy is the real deal.

Netherlands couldn't find a way through a stubborn Costa Rican defense and a stellar Navas performance in regular time, so we got some bonus soccer. Extra time! I want some butts!

Van Gaal decided to defy all logic and save one of his three subs until the 120th minute and subbed in Krul to take over in goal especially for penalty kicks. While conventional logic would indicate that maybe subbing in a field player would have been prudent sometime in the firs 120 minutes, Van Gaal turned out to kinda know what he was talking about and Krul was a monster, guessing correctly all five times and making two spectacular saves.

Who would have ever thought a Newcastle player would actually be useful at this late a stage in the World Cup? In any case, van Nistelrooy seemed pleased.

Now that all interesting story lines are over and the Cinderellas have been decimated, time to get down to brass tax. A Neymar and Thiago-less Brazil plays against a Germany that hasn't woken up since their first game against Portugal. Should be a fucking doozy.