Lukaku to Everton for £28m is finally official

Big news for Everton. Legitimately don't know if they've spent £28m on players combined during my entire lifetime and here they go spending it all on one 21 year old. If they were going to spend this kind of money, it makes sense that it'd be on Lukaku. He's spent the last year on loan at Everton so they know he'll fit into the system and he's young enough where even if it doesn't pan out he'll still have resale value. This is made even better by the fact that his biggest attribute is his physique, and that's only likely to improve over the coming years. He has some glaring weaknesses in his game, most obviously the whole "I can't pass" and "Stevie Wonder has better field vision than I do" thing, but his upside is big enough where the price seems justified. Evertonians should have faith that Roberto Martinez will be able to take the raw potential within Lukaku and turn him into a more complete striker during the next few years, and it solidifies a solid, young core at Everton that should keep them competitive for the immediate future. Definitely exciting times for the blue side of Liverpool.

At the very least, Everton fans can rest assured that they've picked up the best lats in the league. Can't tell if his nipples are actually as ridiculously tiny as they seem or if his upper body is just so jacked that it's an optical illusion. Questions for a more qualified individual I suppose.